You Bastard

I read a conversation on the internet between a couple of people the other night and they were talking about the "slow clap", a feature film darling. We're all familiar with the scene in any dramatic moment where someone starts the sloooow clap for our hero, the underdog. The movie they were discussing with great fondness was Lucas. Lucas was made in 1986 and has had several followers in the trademark slow clap. I considered listing them but that's not where I'm going with this so maybe another time.

When it happened in tonight's film it almost immediately ruined the movie for me. It was one of those cliche moments on celluloid that simply made me feel like I was going to vomit. I felt embarrassed that they went there. More embarrassed than when I just wrote "went there." Anyway, it made me think of all the other horrible moments watching other movies that make use of revolting cliches in dialogue or just the physical act of doing _____. You can fill in the blank. I did in the first paragraph with the sloooow clap.

The British like to say, "You bastard." Bastard is pronounced "baaastaad" in British. Well, that is the closest I could come to figuring out how to spell the British version. They beat that tiny two word phrase like a dead horse. Rent some quirky British movies and you will see for yourself. You can also choose to trust me; I love film. I'm fairly sure if Austin Powers said it, it's a British thing. On a side note, I am in no way a fan of Austin Powers, I was just making a point.

Moving on...anytime you watch a movie featuring black actors they, at one point, always refer to his or her "black ass." Ernie Hudson did it in Ghostbusters. The character was "Winston Zeddimore" and I couldn't find the exact quote but he refers to his ass as "my black ass." Not as funny as, "I have seen shit that'll turn you white", however, clearly written by a nerdy white guy that wishes he could talk about his white ass but knows deep down it would be totally lame if he did.

Those were just a few examples but if you have any you would like to share, the comment section is always open for interjection. Oh, and let's not forget the kids who we'd all secretly love to punch in the face; the kids that are anywhere from four and a half to ten years old that talk like a 30 year old film school grad. Sickening...